While enjoying the probably nicest afternoon of the coming six months, I enjoyed myself with the studies of SUNGOs, BRONGOs, DANGOs and others. What sounds very exotic is part of a categorization of non-governmental organizations (NGOs). After contributing some thoughts on that topic my focus wandered overseas.
I find that is is easier to form close relationships in Western societies than in Asian ones. In Europe, discussions occur because people do not agree on a certain topic. Controversial topics is what interests listeners and they feel provoked to participate in the round. Yet, Asian discussions usually are in a state of consensus. Topics in Asia seldom cause fights because you do not want to clench your fists over a different opinion which movie star you like the most. I am not implying that Asian discussions are boring – not at all! People are smiling a lot and talking to Asians generally results in a lot of laughters and happy times. Yet, topics such as politics or fundamental questions are not taken seriously. University students do get confronted with critical topics such as ethics, religion or politics. And those students engage actively in participations in and outside the classroom. However, personal strings and feelings are not revealed. An Asian college mate is unlikely to unravel his position towards a leading politician; the student might simply tell how the politician is perceived in public and what the general pros and contras are. It is understandably difficult to form close relationships with Asians friends since disclosing personal and intimate thoughts and feelings is crucial for such bondings. Again, not to say that Asians are not open or not welcoming towards outsiders. It is, especially as a foreigner, reasonably easy to meet and get to know local people, certainly when you speak the local language. Also, Asians are very inviting towards new friends, offering their time for you. Europeans are more reluctant to donate their precious time for a new mate. Only when it is clear that the friendship is beneficial for both time is invested. Asians probably tend to feel obliged towards a visitor and thus spend their time with you. When you get to hang out with them, you’re likely to meet them in a group.
Asian societies are very group-oriented. In Japan, for example, I found that every student belonged to a different school club. During breaks, the tennis guys used to chat together, the ‘cool ones’ smoked in the toilets, and manga-lovers would read their stories. In European schools, I believe, people from different groups interact with each other much more. Here, your free time is spend outside school. In Japan, teenagers spent most of their time at school. Therefore, there is not much time left to meet other fellows; only the ‘cool guys’, who did not belong to any club, had many friends outside school. In Bangkok I got the impression that many students lead multiple lives. First, there are the friends from class with whom you hang out on campus and with whom you have lunch. Second, there are the friends from high school with whom you might go out or do something fun. I think that it is not common to introduce new people, maybe a friend from university, to an existing circle. Therefore, it can be hard to meet friends from university outside campus since they are busy with their other circles. Third, there is the family.
Yet, I think that as students get closer to graduation, their ties with these circles might loosen a bit since they are about to enter employment. Also, parents will be less reluctant to let you out of the house as you please since you approach maturity. In rural Thailand, only with the age of 25 a child is seen as independent and has the obligation to continue the family tree. But also in Europe, 25 years mark a change: I will graduate at the age of 25 and start to work – hopefully.